Being married: Three years (and three months)

2 Oct

Oh I’m a little bit late with this one aren’t I? In fact, I’m a little bit late with a blog post in general. Since we found out last summer that we were expecting our first baby, life has never been the same. Even writing that makes me cringe with the sheer cliche of it but I promise I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.

So yes, we welcomed our first child – a little girl – in April this year. I wrote throughout my pregnancy but couldn’t bring myself to make them public, we didn’t even announce on social media to friends, because I was always a little apprehensive that things wouldn’t go as smoothly as I had hoped. Becoming pregnant with lupus is quite a feat in itself, to get through pregnancy without much of a hiccup is rather a big deal. I will write a separate post about that but those nine months of pregnancy and the six months since she was born have been responsible for both the highs and lows of our second and third year of marriage.

My last post after being married for two years was about learning how to be one of two and considering someone else’s needs. My post after three is now about becoming three and not just having to consider someone else, but having to put them above all else. (Before anyone asks, my four year post will not be about becoming four!) E isn’t a demanding baby, for that we have been exceptionally lucky, but still her needs take over. Obviously we are no longer able to dedicate as much time to being husband and wife and, when the baby is asleep and the day is over, I do miss this.

Seeing my husband with our baby girl changes everything though. The way you see your partner before they become a parent is never how you see them again afterward. She is a daddy’s girl already, saving her biggest smiles for his return from work and rewarding his silly games with the best giggles.

The little things have been what’s kept me going over the last year. The late night bar of chocolate to satisfy that pregnancy craving (Galaxy and sausage rolls – but not together). Creating a steam room in our bathroom to help treat that nasty cold you’re not allowed any medication for. An extra hour in bed. Washing the baby’s bottles. Changing a nappy.

I always said it was important to find time to be a couple even after the baby has arrived like a tiny tornado in the middle of our world. My aim for next year is for us to get better at that, even if it’s just having a takeaway and watching a film when she’s in bed. 3years

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